If I have to award busiest(queeeeeeekest) 30 days in last 2 yrs or so, I will award it to last 30 days. ammm, I think I should consider last 40 days for it - they were more or less same. Planning and preparing for road trip to mussoorie + dhanaulti on 2nd october and the weekend was a lot more exciting than the actual drive. Leaving at 1 am and crossing the worst criminal belt in northern India - Meerut - muzzaffarnagar - saharanpur - was not so appealing to my parents and Tauji. They said everything which, in usual days, could have easily changed my mind to alter trip timings but I think excitement and happiness was so much over my head that I ignored them completely. And I did right ;) .

I had plan to leave at 1am so by the time I reach mountaints (Dehradun) I can see them grooming from pitch dark to bright blue, orange and then green. Well lucky us, we saw those beautiful mountains in all possible shades and I had not put breaks on 99% of potholes to reach on time. Before reaching Dhanaulti, we were driving 1000 feets above mussoorie (2250 mtrs approx above sea level) and we took a lonely - very lonely and forgotten kind of road. It was still a comfortable drive untill Rohit(baluja) wanted to try his hands and our luck with the car.

Imagine the next few seconds for us in car - he didn't start the car and took off the gear to neutral- controlling the stearing smoothly, he intended to park the car at a corner above a tiff.... looking cool, he suddenly shouted - Breaks nai lag rahi (breaks are not working) - and we were almost dead. If not physically, I personaly felt my heart was in my neck already and could jump out of the car before our car jump from the tiff.. Out of fear, my hands automatically pulled up the hand breaks and I couldn't believe him - smart ass was trying to apply power breaks without starting the engine. He then drove almost 20 kms after this incidence, forget about the mountains and beauty - I didn't remove my hands from hand-break for a millisecond then :)

4 days in Dhanaulti and Mussoorie were full of fun and booze --> more fun ;) lots of shooting competitions within ourselves (air riffle on baloons and cans) ---> a lot more fun. Maggie, awful Pakoras, super oily Paranthas and Tea at road side Dhabas ---> not bad! Teasing Dharminder for his marriage scheduled in february, Topa and Ashesh for the Road Side Journey they missed while coming by train, Rohit for his senseless driving, and all of us playing Tennis in PS2 all nights - I can live without sleeping for years like this...

Soon after the party was over and we were back to Delhi by Monday morning - I said to party without sleeping for years, not work! 1) it was a Monday 2) I wanted to sleep 3) it was a Monday 4) I wanted to c photographs 5) it was a Monday 6) I had lots of pending work 7) it was monday...........................it was still a Monday!

With lots of work, I had a confirm deal - crucial one for my company's existence. Working with Sam on new project during day and updating client at nights - I hardly slept during the weeek. Ashesh, KV, Topa and I met for Topa's birthday treat and I couldn't sleep on that Sunday either. 5 movies, lots of dinners, Ankita's birthday, Diwali season, Deepti's treat, My birthday, Proffessors from Scotland, Rohit's birthday(movie last night) and Dinner and drinks with Sunny, Rohit(Arora) tonight - I am extreeemely busy u c ! next time before noticing my over wieghted body, you must read this blog again !

I was looking for a good book on Indian History from last one year...Didn't really like anything - they were all very big and expensive. Finally, I have a copy now and it is by Percibal Spear (knowing Indian history from a foreginer is not so exciting but I am hoping for the best). Its Saturday night + I am back from another dinner session + I dont have any movies for tonight + no one is available to chat + I dont want this night to end..So, I shall start the book now or else it will take me one more year to do so.......

city of dreams.

Residing in Delhi for all my life, i thought i m one of the brave ones... but, this city is fullllll of people with big and bigger dreams..not just dreams, but people who are actually following dreams.. in worst cases, they even know they wont get them in any case... this city is known as Mumbai...

It is my second trip to Mumbai and first time i m trying to understand it rather than watching.. this city is full of brave people - i must say....i have seen dreamers everywhere, for the first time i am seeing so many fighters at one place.. fighters who understand the needs of others too.. fighters who are not to kill and neither for survival but to fight, fight and fight.. I am staying at my cousins place who shares his appartment with two more guys. My cousin is a dreamer but not a fighter. other two are dreamers as well as fighters... one of them is 29 yrs old and wanna b actor.. he is very very handsome but lack communication skills...girls are after him but this idiot is searching for love... the other guy is 22 yrs old and do not hesitate to say he has homosexual vibes.. and also he wants to become a Director....his father is a big man has a pharma company in Lukhnow.. As per his estimates, he will b a director only when he is 40 yrs old.. and he is more than happy to fight for 18 yrs.... 18 yrs.....18 yrs, can u believe that? I dont even want to think of struggling for another 18 months. His father may be rich but has made it very clear to not to sponsor him after his studies(few more months).. this man has seen almost every movie existing on earth and published in Hindi or English. u ask him about starcast or crew for any particular movie and he wont take more than a second.. Hollywood/Bollywood Dictionary !

I met an Auto driver who do not wants to marry but to buy few more autos and starts a transport company....marrying is not in his wishlist at all.... a famous Vada Pao(local dish) walla who is very famous but do not wants to charge any premium on his food... he loves to cater to college students at reasonable prices because he made a choice to have food than going to college.
I didn't do any research for all this, just kept my eyes open.

Not just fighters, this city is full of cheaters as well. especially if u r a tourist. Two of my friends were going back to Delhi today and one of them was carrying his laptop and a CD pack with some porn CD's quite obviously. At railway station while checking for weapons one of police guy searched into the CD case and abused my friends of trying and selling pirated CD's in Delhi. Ha Ha Ha ! and all these doubts were gone asap my friends bribe them with 2000 bucks. Can u believe that? i never heard such story in Delhi...neither my cousin and his friends have heard anything similar in Mumbai...so my over smart friends have been fooled in short....!

Not just this, people are very straight with their words and approach.. if u r not habitual to listen truth about your egg shaped body or not so charming hair cut, dont ask if its looking good.. I am the victim of a not so pleasant reply. that too from a sales person.. I wonder if his shop makes good business or atleast if he ever matched his sales target... whatever, he prefered to say truth and saved my money...

It seem a very interesting city, but m not sure if i can survive here (happily). One has to be rich or need to have many balls to pay 30,000 rupees rent for a simple two bedroom flat in not so good location..pay around 3000 rupees a month for parking of every extra car u or ur flat mates drive. if you go without a girl in pubs or good restaurants -dont feel sorry if u find waiters staring at you with weird eyes. always keep a lighter even if u dont smoke unless u want to miss a chance for small chat with girls asking for lighters..

I guess i should take some help and make a 'Do's and Dont's" chart for first timers in mumbai - I may make some good money ;) - lucky u !

let them say and keep trying....

They said don’t try to fly. They said it again and again.…….

When I am alone, I get over confident. And when I get over confident – u guessed it right – I mess up badly. And that’s what happening with me from quite some time now. When I left my partnership in Vista – it was purely my decision. When asked about my next plans, I said some thing like – “there are thousands of opportunities around. I just need to grab some. I also have plans to start an eCommerce company. I ll b developing an Automated Sales Management System and will target foreign clients and exporters.” Sounds impressive? Well, it took only few seconds to say this damn statement and extremely long 6 months to develop that in realty (beta version yet). And no good signs on marketing yet...I have encountered three type of people while reaching this first stage...Those who do not care what I achieve or loose...Those who have helped or motivated me to reach this first stage...and those who offered me help and made me dependent on them and finally, DISAPPEARED.....

They said don’t try to fly. They said it again and again…They laugh at me now….

I am a very spiritual person… Mind you, spiritual but not religious… I am a strict follower of god but also an Alcohol lover… I don’t really care about Laws – I am not 25 but I drink which my government doesn’t allow and my parents don’t expect! Usually I don’t mind others doing the same….”Usually” because they seem grown up and mature.. I have seen guys of around 12 yrs old….no… wait…. I have seen children of around 12 yrs old drinking in public.. teasing girls as much as double of their age(atleast). And messing around all over… I have problem with this! But I cant stop them.. after all they are breaking law as much as I am, except I don’t do eve teasing.

Lets forget about law and talk about ethics now? Is it ethically right for the shop keeper to sell that alcohol to those kids? Big NOO! And is it ethically right for the same shopkeeper to sell that alcohol to me? I am speechless. Thoughtless…

This wine shop along with one more wine shop is located between a11-12 commercial buildings. My office is inside one of these 12 buildings giving me enough opportunities to observe the attachment of people (99.99%) towards these two shops even if they don’t drink. But some thing is so special about these shops that even out of 5000 people, may b more, working in this area don’t make complaints or oppose these shops to be located within the radius of 10 meters from a small temple… Not sure if its true but I heard that there cant be any wine shop within 100 meters of a temple or some thing…. Interestingly, the biggest donation in the temple comes from these two shops. J . obvious reasons….

May I have observed these shops earlier, I could have thought of doing a different business with recurring income.. Guess what? Recycling of beer and other alcohol bottles… it’s a big business here with at least 60 children (not even aged 12) engaged in this profession already… if u want to learn marketing or PR skills, I bet u – they can teach better than our college professors. How? Check out –

As soon as u made ur purchase and comes out of shop, few little guys or in worst case little girls will be offering you bottle openers. You get choice to choose the best opener because of competition and soon they will break the seal for you followed by a quick dry cleaning of your bottle (you may loose the grip of bottle if its too wet). The clothes they use to clean your bottle is 10000 times cleaner than their own clothes. Not just this, these kids will keep all beggars away from you until you are drinking – giving you peaceful drinking environment! Oh, r u feeling to smoke but forget to buy cigarettes or matchbox? Don’t panic, these kids provide full fledged service until u r enjoying ur drink. Are you with your girl friend and looking for some privacy? Just ask for help and they can take u to the hell of places(heaven for couples) where they will guard your privacy for few more extra bucks..Or if u r too shy to ask about this, they ll let u know about it… Sounds astounding? Well, all these services come in exchange of your empty bottle! Not a bad deal eh?

It is not that I liked how these kids are making money. But I m happy at least they r not begging with dirty and already used band aids all around or almost naked to earn their living. They have become business minded.. They are service oriented… I usually give few one rupee candies to few kids in exchange of no service but a smile… But I will never give them money – not even a rupee… or else, they ll stay beggars throughout their life…

They said don’t try to fly. They said it again and again…They laughed at me….They should see these kids and learn that there are actually thousands of opportunities around, just need to grab the right one…have patience and c the world changing. or if u don’t have patience, stop laughing at least because how much distance u may have covered, journey to road side never ends....!

a toast to myself.......

Pic by K.V.

(2nd December, 2003)

So far so good.. But the question is how far is it gonna remain good? Oh no, I m definitely not talking about the earthquake in China or blasts in Jaipur.. I am talking, as usual, about my blog. Why? Because the second question arises is how much I should share and with whom. Shall I start different blogs to share with different crowd of people? I guess not. Whats the use of writing at all then? Whats the use of writing it anyway?

We say, behave and express in a different way with dissimilar people. Or at least, I am different for different people and so is my personality(if it exists at all :-) ). Some feels I am not bothered about my life and some feels I m over thinking about it. I wont blame anyone for it, its all about how I behave and react with them. So, here, I am trying to write and express same bunch of feelings to all. I have over come of my confusion to start or to not to start a new blog so that, intentionally or unintentionally, I dont hurt any one. But then that is not what I want or may be that is what I want at some point – to express what I feel before its too late or as Topa has commented - Coz you just never get to know when the final bell rings.. There are things I wont be able to express to the ones responsible for brining me in this world – my parents – I love them and I know they know it. But this is some thing I don’t want to say but prove!

Coming back to friends, have you ever noticed how different we are with our girl friends let alone friends? There’s a small variation between different category of friends but difference of a complete world when it comes to a girl/boy friend? You don’t write poems if a friend ditch/leaves u..no one does…. But, I bet, any one can become a poet when it is about opposite sex. ( I never read a poem written by homosexuals :D). And as the matter of fact I m no exception. Years ago, I tried and got some sort of weird success with writing. This is when Sheena got married and I could do nothing but laugh in front of others over the situation and cry whenever I found myself alone. And that is where this urge of writing started within me. People around thought that I m cool and looking for another girl. But it was a different game for me. I wont say that I was too low and decided to crap my life or anything. But I missed here more than I miss my school days. I still miss her more than I miss my college days. She is the one to build a lil confident in me. She told me that ‘I am an angel’ which might not be true. At least I know I am not a devil for sure :-*. Life has to move on and it did for me, indeed. Okay, I m still in touch with her but that’s the least we planned together- JUST to stay in touch for all our life! Some of you may have problem with this. But then, its my life and I have rights to live it in my own way. The way I feel is right, even it may or may not be socially acceptable. Socially acceptable? Huh. Do we really care about it other than not roaming around naked? I am not sure. We do everything which is not even acceptable to our parents, lets not talk about others.

Rohit, I agree - "Crazy" does not conveys the magnitude of things i did on May 10, 2008. The word is just too small.” Yes, that one word does not and could not convey the magnitude of things u did. But then, there’s no such word exists? Further – “Life has taught me many lessons in the last few days, and trust me, the cost of learning these lessons is far beyond the affordability of ANYONE. On this day, i got a new meaning of "living life to the fullest". Coz you just never get to know when the final bell rings.” Nothing can heal the pain u have had but good you realized the ultimate truth of life quite early. I respect our tradition of not celebrating anything for long in remembrance of the lost one, the loved one. However, I respect Christian’s tradition more of raising a toast in remembrance of the lost one, the loved one – after all they have completed their tough and painful journey of life, journey to the road side. Also, your loved one never wanted you to be sad.

Similarly, after Sheena’s marriage, I wrote(I tried) few lines as a toast to me (I always believed she was a part of me). Take it lightly -

I may be no one for you,
But everything for me is just you.

I do not behave good some time,
But you are the best and all mine.

I love the way you smile each time,
It gives me pleasure for a life time.

I can never forget some of your face,
Which looks like an infant babe .

I respect all your thoughts and feeling,
Which gives courage for better living.

I want to stay always in your arms,
Which will keep me away from all harms.

Sheena,
My character may not be that true,
But it’s the truth that I have loved you.

In my sms,
I wanted to write a lot more,
But space was not enough for me to explore.

I just wish that I can compensate for my mistake,
But I know, god won’t allow me for a second take.

I want to smooch you till the day I die,
And want you to do everything without being shy.

Please,
Love me till the day I am alive,
And never ever go away from my life.

I hope my wish
Sometime will come true,
And I would be able to prove
That what all I can do for you....!

No comments please. This was first time I tried writing some thing of my own. Even all assignments in college were copied…. There are just two people in this world I would not want to read my blog – my first and last girl friend. funny eh? But I know they ll get to read it some day.. So I want to say that - M not sorry for anything..Not for u – not for myself……………

comments? send it to - road.journey@gmail.com

Tomrrow may come, but do not wait for it.....

Yesterday was a crazy day....completely....Topa(Rohit) will agree with me....

I did one of the craziest things yesterday.... didn't wanted to throw away 1/3rd bottle of Johnie Walker(Black Label) before my parents come back, I started with it in the very morning and didn't realized my speed unless it was finish, within half an hour....25 minutes to be precise....dont blame it on me, blame the restless scotch! What happened after that is a mystery....

But its not the case with Topa....I made my day crazy, intentionally....He did all the craziest things against his will and intentions....His uncle, very very close to him, expired yesterday.... I think his uncle was one of his idol.... My thank is due to his uncle and i wish to express it, now. b'cos of him we once had our dinner at ITC Shereton, Agra after adoring TAJ MAHAL in moon light....We could not have ever done this, otherwise....Me and Topa succesfully organized our farewell party at D'Minor, next to Hyatt...It was all arranged by his uncle.. Thanks for everything, sir !

Topa quoted these words in a mail few days ago - "U never know what life has in store for u ……… suddenly ……something as strange as this … can happen between … ashesh’s bday party on one day and my offsite on the other !!!! ". So True! Ashesh, Topa and me were craving to party on saturday night(yesterday) at my home....and suddenly as strange as this had happen between friday and saturday night...

I remember my first trip to Goa...we were all college friends except (Jaanu(Rohit Baluja) and Deepak)... Deepak being the most notorious guy and Jaanu being the most innocent of all...Jaanu is my childhood friend.... I had never seen him so excited and happy, ever, before for the trip.... Moments before our train started moving, we got to know our other choldhood friend, Anshul, had met an accident and died on the spot.... Nothing was in our hand and I couldn't do anything than taking care of Jaanu....Anshul and Jaanu were best friends.....after two days Jaanu had forgot about Anshul's accident for some time and was looking very very happy again - totaly absorbed in the Goa's mid night dinner mood....But life had some thing else in store for him and we got to know his father has expired of a heart attack....His father used to hate me most of times as Jaanu will not study but roam around with me all the time.... I always wanted to tell his father that I love his son, may be, more than he does....I think he knows this now if he can see us from stars....

Guys, believe it or not, within yesterday and today I have been shocked many a times. While I started writing this blog today evening, I was chatting with an Indian lady living in US....She's having a daughter..We used to chat long ago but then she suddenly and simply ignored me for no reasons..I got to chat with her today and this is what she said - "you knbow what....some days in life are good n some days are busy...then i dont chat wityhy any1.I have been fighting breast cancer since jan...easy nahin hota chat karna yaar...not that i ignore any1.so....if i dont reply...dont think that i am cold....just that i'm not able to."I didn't know what to reply back other than saying SORRY..

I didn't feel like writing anything more after chatting with her so I decided to go out for dinner (party everynight untill parents are back :-) ). Just after I had finish half of my super high calorie meal I recieved a phone call. I got a lil excited as there was some girl on the line calling me by name. But all excitement vanished soon for two reasons - 1) It was a job aspirant in my small company who was supposed to come tommorrow morning for interview. 2) She wont be able to come tommorrow as her grand father has expired today...... Like most of guys from same age group, I dont know how to handle these situations...What to say and what not too...I think saying nothing is much safer than experimenting with words in these situations.....

I have always been a coward of apologizing for my mistakes untill I went to Scotland..And, untill I met Roshni(my super X girl friend).. I shall not discuss about her other than mentioning that she taught me the importance of saying sorry....Also, that its better late than never.. For instance, I can proudly say that I wrote a big email to Poki(Paroksh) for my sarcastic behaviour throughout college days...It was not necessary as I was not the only one to bully him and he didn't have any copmlaints either. But I think he knows me better after reading my email.

Guys, life is too short to hate anyone and today is big enough to express yourself..B'cos yesterday is a long time ago; tomorrow is just a dream....So, if I may put it in my words, - "tomorrow may come, but do not wait for it !".

Like to share? leave a comment or write back to- road.journey@gmail.com.

B'cos, enough isn't enough.......

Okay! I might be forcing some of you to read this blog as earlier, but then you guys r part of my ultimate responsibility. You are my friends and family... It may sound weird just now but I am certain you would read it without any requests one day :-)
Few of you have appreciated my thought without telling what do you actually liked about it. But for those of you who didn't liked it or have had some or other reason to disagree, thanks for your feedback. Only feedbacks can make this blog continue and worthwhile for me and for you, if it does at all.

Aapt feels that reading this blog could make you look negatively towards your life. I never intend to do so. All I want from this blog is a healthy conversation which we usually ignore while partying or in get togethers'. We bravely discuss about flirting with girls, fighting with parent and colleagues, cheating in exams, faking documents and work experiences, and a whole lot of shit. Why not about life and relationships other than natural ones? I believe we share a relationship, good or bad, with every single person we have ever known. May it be the cab driver, cashier in food court, office clerk, neighbour(may be his daughter :-)) or any one else including that charity agent you would have hated most. For me, there is no 'neutral' kind of relation. Its either good or bad. If its not bad and I can approach some one when needed -its a good relation and vice versa. And as I wrote in previous blog, meaning of life is different for all - the most positive aspect could be negative for you. ALL ABOUT PERCEIVING....

Ashish says this blog is nothing but an unneseccary GYAN. Yes, only if you take it as some. Or else, its a discussion forum. Let the GYAN spread OR............ Lets discuss !

Ashesh has quite some thing to say or rather, to discuss... There is some thing tickling his mind throughout - "is it that you are getting a little dicy abt life.....world being this way...like being so self centred........or like may be not thinking abt anything..when i say anything i mean anyone around you...any1 who you think feels your importance.....but then you yoursef (i will call you the "writer") say that he has his friends around him and he is like ok about it and want to do something apart from them.....why does the writer doesent realise that he....his sis....his GF...his friends...his family.....are also some where connected to the world....ppl...or something which he wants to do...or may be like want to have that pleasure of livingmay be that doing somethng differently for them can also give him that pleasure which he is looking for". Ashesh, its not the world being this way. Its WE, usually, being this way - self centred. And I am trying to explore that very fact. If you read my blog once again, I never tried to ignore people around me - my friends and family. Instead, I have called them my "ULTIMATE RESPONSIBILITY". Okay, I agree that we may put more and more, may be all, efforts towards our ultimate responsibility. But as we say "enough is never enough", so we shall not forget our other responsibilities as well. for eg -
A father's ultimate responsibility is to take good care of his child. For it, he may work more and more to earn money which will never be enough. He shall also spend enough time with his child for studies, sports, and entertainment. In other words, he is suppose to give 100% of his time for his child (if not with him). But, let me tell you, he also have some responsibilities for his wife/ parents/ relatives/ friends and all. So? is enough really enough ? No, its not and it will never be.

Look at the flower I have fixed as a header. Flower has blossomed every single petal and not some. A few of them are going to stay and some wont be there for long..Similarly, I am not, straight away, going to do charity towards my social responsibilities but to well behave with everyone. Even when I blow my horn next time (Aapt? Ashesh?). And that will also give me some pleasure while doing Road Side Journey.........

ACTIONS LEAD HABITS... HABITS LEAD OUR LIFE

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Pleasure of Living !

Ever since I understood importance of my existence, I have analyzed that my existence do not really have any importance. Importance for people around me, importance for the community, importance for the nation, importance for the country, importance for anything at all.

The only people I am important to are my parent, sister, girl friend and a few other friends. Seriously speaking, this importance has nothing to do with me. rather, it has more to do with blood, relation and the time spent together. So, is this why I am existing? Is this why I am living for? well, I am not sure...... I am not sure of what I want to do for others, even I dont know what I want to do for my own self.... Graduation was important for living, so i graduated... Masters was important for good living, so I did Post Graduation.... Work is important for good living, so here I am, working!

Does that, by all means, mean that I am living just for the sake of living? Everything I do is for good living, everything I want to do is for good living and everything I may do in future will be for the sake of good living.... Wait, could you pelase explaing what is the meaning of good living...? mind you, I am not talking about the absolute definition but the true meaning... This could be a subjective question.. as every individual is different, meaning for living is different for all , quite obvious. Our parent takes care of us since we born till we or they die....And we do exactly same for our children, and they ll do the same for their....... Again, I may ask you, is this the reason we were born and shall die for? Just for us, for us alone? We utilize so much from the nature thorughout our life without ginving any returns back to it....Instead, we create so much of mess to people and nature around us, thats the proof we give for our existence...I dont wanna die with this pain in my brain of doing nothing throughout my life... I want, or i shall say I wish to do some good, some help, some support for others.. OTHERS, other than my family and friends...I agree that chairty begins at home and I shall start helping my family and friends first. But that is my ultimate responsibility and I should not mention that, ever, again..I will discuss things which I think will give me pleasure..Please dont take me wrong, I do not intend to say 'sex' by using word 'pleasure'..Instead, pleasure of self satisfaction; pleasure of happiness; PLEASURE OF LIVING..!

Folks, I am starting this blog, my first ever, because I want to explore the ways to get Pleasure OF Living in the journey we all do on regular basis within the much bigger journey called LIFE...while going for work, studies, dates, vaccations, shopping etc...And that, my friends, is

"The Journey to Roadside......................................."

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