Journey to the Roadside

feel good factor

2010-06-06T11:49:00.000-07:00

I have been hurting a lot of people intentionally and unintentionally in last couple of weeks.. mostly as a part of my PLANNED CHANGE and mostly to the people who have been the best to me always... I some how made my mum very happy..I never thought it will be so big for her..

every Tuesday she goes to Jhandewallan mandir using local buses. I never liked it coz of her illness and the type of crowd we get in such buses so I always used to tell her that there's no need of going there and all the temples are just same. My mom, as stubborn as me, she never listened to me and kept on traveling in buses.

Not able to afford a permanent driver for her as of now, I told her to use auto/taxi instead and that I will reimburse all her traveling expenses. I cant forget her expressions. The glow, the pride, the happiness on her face as if she is suddenly a proud mother..as if she just got pampered... I can still see her smiling even after 5 hours of our discussion...

I didn't know this bit could be so much for her.. I wonder, similarly, small bits could be equally painful too?

dead or alive?

2010-05-17T04:34:00.000-07:00

Looking at moon, thinking almost every night, I wonder if moon is to be praised for its beauty or the sun? is it that beautiful anyway? is it not the same moon I saw last night? Why am I not bored with it yet? because it is beautiful? there are a lot of beautiful persons but I dont wanna see them every day? so why moon and not those people?

I realized that people have behavior, nature, moods, tendency to ask questions, ability to hurt, possibilities to get hurt and so on. Moon is stable. you love it, hurt it, click it, dont look at it...whatever! it still exists as is.. isn't great? look at it every night or once in 12 months, it is surely to calm u each time..

so is it dead or alive? the moon? does it feels good when I applaud it or does it feels bad when I dont bother to look at it? what if it has an heart. I think, it would have faded away like the way I turning gray!

moments of completeness

2010-01-20T05:22:00.000-08:00

I was wondering how I feel when different people touches me for different reasons. be it a professional hand shake, a friendly hug, maternal kiss or whatever. I couldn't recognize the feelings..

Although, I remember how i felt when she first touched me. When she touched me again, and again and again. I felt as if I am complete...as if I need nothing more... as if I had no past. as if I have no future. feeling so deep, so true, to never come out.

the way she looks at me tells that she wont regret it, later today or tomorrow. when she is not around, I can still feel her touches and see into her shy eyes. she has been waiting to see me as much as I waited for her, may be more.

her eyes so sparkling, her breath so warm;
her thoughts are enough to feel her charm..

her touch says there will be a brighter tomorrow, even if not, don't be sorrow.
her touch expresses each of her feeling, be she sad or smiling.

her touch is most cherished, felt and desired;
I cant let her stop, selfish me, even if she is tired.

when dependencies are ditched

2009-12-20T14:11:00.000-08:00

I was discussing about my dependencies, over an employee, with a friend three weeks ago. I told her how much trouble I might face if this employee ever resigns. he knows about all the projects we have done so far. he knows about all other employees and clients too. and guess what..................?

Yes! he resigned the very next week. Actually, he tried to ran away. Leaving behind relationship of two years, he gave me ONE DAY NOTICE before he joins his new company.
_______________________________________________________________________
Stephanos: I am worried about u
Stephanos: Dear i want to say something to u. i cannot think what to say
me: its ok..i know what u want to say...say it
Stephanos: today i was going for interview they accepted my job ... want me to join on day after tomorrow
me: u can not join that soon
Stephanos: i tried talk them that i am join after one month but they disagree
me: u must give one month notice...as we discussed earlier
Stephanos: they want early.
me: sam, u must serve one month notice
Stephanos: man i am fed up about this
me: i will hire some one and train for work not before one month
Stephanos: please be accept ? what to do man? Now u got fed up .. because of me!
me: i dont know...just be professional if not a friend....i discuss it before as well..that one month notice is requred..
Stephanos: dear i tried to them, they dont have other way.. i asked them for some other date...but they want immediate , i have accepted this offer from them as i can work from you office half day daily
me: i can not release you then...think of our company too..
Stephanos: i am giving u much offer .. dont give salary of this month to me.. i continue ur work for one month or 2. half days work during weekdays and full day on saturday. PLEASE!
me: u know i never fight for money
me: if u want..take ur salary tommorrow and u can go. but i am only expecting professionalism...half day work wont help me or my company
Stephanos: they giving big salary 29K
Stephanos: i told them i get 22k from your office
me: let us talk tomorrow
Stephanos: bit worried. SOrry for trouble u
__________________________________________________________________________

I really wanted to retain him so I offered him salary what he was being offered from the other company. He didn't stay! He is keen on joining a MNC which guarantees him job for next 10 yrs or so. I could only guarantee a better personal relationship and same salary..not the multi-storey building, neither confrences at 5 star hotels, and certainly not an ambience of 300 staff!

Tough to sleep, eat or concentrate unless he finally left. Unless I knew, now, there is no way he will stay. He wasn't the best programmer or designer, neither the best man. He was my first employee! a friend at office. a colleague.

tough......tough.........tough.....but the show must go on :) and it will!

if eyes could touch ...

2009-12-01T02:48:00.000-08:00

Ever wondered, what, if eyes could touch? My instant thoughts:

I can feel my girl in public :)
More men will be raped/ murdered/ cascaded than women every year
We will stop being bossy or insulting our juniors
Parents would stop asking questions – rather punish!
Sales guy would stop telling unreasonable prices
Cops wont harass unnecessarily
School principals would stop asking donation
Employees wont ask for salary hike :) and boss wont utter a word about cost cutting
Politicians wont beg votes or make fake promises
List is endless....

Nikon D3000

2009-11-09T22:01:00.000-08:00

After months of planning and savings :D I was finally able to buy my first DSLR camera. A "NIKON D3000". So far not good :(. I bought it before Deepawli to capture some of fireworks around and also the light from diyas and candles my sister fixes at every inch of the balcony.
Did I get some good shots? NOPE :(
Fireworks are too tricky to capture. I will have to play with aperture speed and ISO sensitivity - and I can only say it but not make it work.... Pity! Its the same story with everything that is dark. I am not very able to capture the original light/colour of the object. either it gets too bright even without flash when I change a few settings(which I am not sure about) or it gets too dark than the original.
So, in short, its no fun with DSLR cameras except that I can do very well with focus. In day light, my digital camera (again a Nikon) was better, fast and easy :D

Diwali celebrations

Not doing any great with my road side journeys either - not getting much of opportunities to drive after the Agra trip with KV, Shishir(he used to be in the same university in Aberdeen) and Shishir's cousin. I fell asleep while driving back to Delhi and fortunately only the Fender(right), front door(right), bumper(front), bonnet, fog lamp(right, head light(right) has to be repaired :)
After so much loss I am happy to say we were fortunate because I can well imagine what could have happened banging a 2 feet high road divider @ 125kms/hr. We were all safe and were easily able to drive my not so good looking car upto garage.

Thanks to insurance guys - my car looks like before again :). last monday I got an opportunity to drive deep inside villages of Haryana while going for a marriage. We also squeezed some free time and drove to my family village (Sahlasar). It was so good to see our haveli walls intact (doors and windows are ransacked by hundreds of monkeys) and peacocks singing for only few of remaining families in the village. I had a big glass of buffalo's milk after which i couldn't eat anything in the marriage (ice cream is an exception).

Udit and Ankita

Airtel Great Delhi Run

Cool Dude

My urge to travel and drive and capture is shifting from desperation to frustration and I hope my plans for Sunderban jungles (West Bengal) in December-January will be able to calm me for a while. Humans are greedy!

What is love?

2009-09-22T02:04:00.000-07:00

A couple of minutes ago I got an SMS from a dear friend quoting "what is love?".

"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired" was the explanation. Beautiful, isn't it? But is it true? we have been taught(in songs, movies, novels, friends) that love is all about giving and not expecting and bull shit.. so why this irresistible desire when you are not suppose to expect?

what if the desire is to be loved from many? thats GREED :) .... but desire is only the other form of greed? so whats the difference? I dont know... I would like to know, though!

B

can a MAN be raped?

2009-07-14T03:07:00.000-07:00

Last night was amazing.... I didn't drink, didn't go for a date, didn't watch a movie either. I was chatting to a few of my clients - as many as 4. All from different countries, all complaining about the bad weather and all ready to give me more business :). Sleeping at around 5 AM and getting up at 10.30 AM, I thought its my lucky day and I am going to have a lot of fun!

Leaving for office at around 12PM, I was in perfect mood to finish up work early and to to go service centre for some small issues. BANG! The Innova guy hit the breaks hard and within fraction of seconds I had a very small accident with Innova. As small as nothing was broken, no scratches either (on his car) except that his bumper guard was bent a little. total expense must not be more than 100 rupees !

The Innova had this sticker on the rear and front window which reads POLICE with the Delhi Police's logo on it. The man came out of his car, didn't see if there's any damage at all to his car, came close to me and BANG! again... HE PUSHED ME HARD and threw all the offensive words on me which he might have ever heard or learnt. I pushed myself back and said SORRY, I M READY TO PAY FOR THE DAMAGE and some how controlled the situation. Not actually controlled, but handled it for a while. He asked me for any of my identification proof and I gave him my debit card.
I followed him from janakpuri upto Dwarka so that I can pay for something I didn't do ! I felt like I am just raped ! He finally stopped near a petrol pump, and told me that the bumper costs around 2500 bucks (fool! bumper must be around 6k including the paint) and as he doesn't have time to get it repaired at the moment he is okay if I pay for the Fuel instead. I said OKAY... There he go, he showed me all the scratches and dents on his car saying this has happened just now :D

He was soon accompanied by another man in a white Honda City with the same POLICE stickers sticked on it. The Innova guy said sorry for his unpleasant behaviour and that he is a JAAT and couldn't control his anger and also appreciated that I kept my cool in the tough time. I was a lil relaxed for few seconds and then he said. if you would have shouted back on me - I would have break all your bones...... I felt as if I was RAPED again.

I paid 2190/- for the fuel in his car and his friend's car (lucily both were filled already) and then he said "SORRY FOR DISTURBANCE".

Now tell me, who said that a MAN CAN NOT BE RAPED?

signs of ageing?

2009-05-17T10:30:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was wondering if I am old now. Old enough to behave strangely -
1) I do not get excited on small things
2) I dont, no more, want to get drunk and loose my senses
3) I dont want to meet, chat or talk to many women - thats a serious issue!
4) I have started saving - to spend on next trip but atleast m saving now :)
5) I plan of marrying after two or more years ;)
6) I dont turn my head along with a hot chic passing by
7) I dont play loud music in my car
8) I am more concerned if I am behaving well with others
9) I am getting punctual to reach my work place
10) I am more cautious with what I eat, drink(no Whisky - no Rum - no Vodka - ONLY BEER)

List is never ending but these are the main concerns.. "Naah, m not old. not at all" - this second thought was contradicting to the first one. So I had some immediate ideas supporting the second thought -
1) I wear more t-shirts than ever before
2) I have 7 pair of shoes and a couple of other footwears
3) I still dont sleep and dont cut my nails on time
4) I am scared of my mum catching me while on drinks or while on phone all the time
5) my deadline to reach home is 11 pm only :( (on usual days)
6) I am studying further(already have a Upper First Class Masters Degree ;) ) but I still dont submit my assignments on time
7) I, almost every alternate day, fight with my sister over the property rights of our bed. She is thin, short and a teen but covers more space on bed than I do. Usually with her books and notebooks..she is not supposed to use right side of the bed under any circumstances.
8) Every morning, I tell my mother that I dont want to take tiffin with me!
9) I bunk my office
10) I always try new salon but never satisfed with my haircut........

I am not sure about the results, but I think this debate must continue to keep me at par. A lot has happened in past 3 months, as it must, including some business investments(a new computer, new employee -show off), trip to VAISHNO DEVI, getting caught while drunk, started gymming, tickets to LADAKH(finally), papa bought a new car (Wagon-R), trip to RANIGANJ (near Kolkota) and much more. But highlights are VaishnoDevi Trip, and Raniganj.

I asked Ankita(my sister) in the morning of the day we were going to Vaishno Devi if she wants to come along. NO was her reply. Our train was at around 9.30pm, we had to leave home for station at around 8.30pm and Ankita changed her mood and, now, wanted to join us for the trip. She was really quick to pack her bag and soon we were in train with Rohit(janu).. we paid double price for Ankita's ticket as she was travelling without ticket- we didn't have time to buy it.

We were accompanied by Rohit(Topa), topa's girl friend, Ashesh, Nidhi(Ashesh's girl),DharamVEER, and Seema(Veer's wife) the next morning at NHPC's guest house (courtesy-topa). Journey begins to bhawan and we climbed quite very quickly as compare to always. used VIP pases for darshan(courtesy-topa) and back to guesthouse by afternoon. so much of complications with Ankita's return ticket and still ended up by paying double once again.

I didn't, even for once, regretted taking ankita with me on trip with 3 couples unless topa promised me to not climb upto his girlfriend's seat at night because my sister was there and then broke his promise out of desperation and assuming that I was sleeping and wont come to know.. Whatever..... I saw his quickest of moves, no expressions of guiltyness, no signs of respect (respect to my only ever request to him and my younger sister)..

Raniganj is a small and not so common city near Kolkota. It is better known as "Black Diamond City" coz of soooo many coal mines... to my surprise, its a very very clean city, have some big hospitals, hundreds of gold shops, so many luxory cars (a looot of them), and girls are in majority in that city :D. Not so often I get a chance to meet so many relatives at same place and all eager to see you marrying next..haha... We(all cousins) did a parody at the ring ceremony and I hosted it. grrrreatttt fun, and few sleepless nights. I slept 20 hrs in train afterwards :).

going to Ladakh next month... and I am sooooooooo excited about it...... we will be going by volvo from Delhi-Manali...stay in Manali for a day and a night... take a Zeep from Manali to Rohtangpass to Keylong to Leh.....going through the most panaromic road in India - they say it!

Its 1.40 am now, and I have to reach a client's place at 9.45am. I need to study his website and do the critics to an existing and fairly well developed website - I wish I get the deal, its much needed now... will write again for few other things soon (before going to Ladakh)....

The Urge - The Weekend

2009-02-15T00:26:00.000-08:00

Not always I stay as excited as today - Not always I have reasons for this :)

My team is working on a project since 16th January and its going live today.. Excitement to see it functioning is making me restless and thought of unknown bugs ruining it all is making me even more restless.. We still have four hours before it goes live and I am sure to survive till then... If i survive after that, I see more reasons for survival of my company..Lol.

Another reason for my excitement is tonight's party.. I have plans to drink today and drink a lot..may be more :) ... Its Dharmveer's bachelors party tonight - I asked him for a party thousand of times while our Mussoorie trip. I have never been to a bachelors party before but I heard ther's always an arrangement for girls/striptease..lol, but dharmveer is arraning none!! Anyways, the lucky dog(bull actually) is going to marry his girl friend on next saturday, 28th february 2009.. I feel so happy for him as he is going to get what he wanted from years.. Also, I envy him a little at the same time...

As the matter of fact, I told my mum that I am going to a bachelors party tonight.. "ohh, bachelors party..hhhmmm" that was her reaction along with a sweet smile... Without telling any lies, I also told her that I will be staying overnight with my friends. I made it quite obvious to her to ask if I have plans for drinks and thats why I want to stay away - that was straight !! Okay.. Enough!! Truth works but not always. so I immediatedly told her that I dont have any such plans and its just that we have plan to play cards and we may go to see taj mahal, mathura and vrindavan tomorrow morning... His party is in Faridabad and it takes around 3 hours from there to reach TajMahal.
All this conversation was immediately conveyed to my dad and he said nothing but a smile :)

Its Saturday and it has been quite a hectic week throughout. Dark circles around my eyes are more visible now and I really really need to get proper sleep :( . its going to be a looooong night tonight as well and I have no idea about tomorrow. Although I must sleep all day tomorrow I am sure that I wont sleep before one or two hours after midnight towards monday. Its Sunday!! the only break in seven days...the only day I get to do other things than work... the day I look for all week :)

While my days as a waiter and cashier in Scotland, I always used to wonder how these people are crazy for weekends. They will celebrate weekend as if its the national day (night may be)... If, for any reasons, they stay at home on saturday nights - they will be creeping for it the complete next week. I think I am very much the same now. no matter if I am tired or not well, I just cant sleep or stay at home on sundays. I have this strrrrrrooooong urge to go out and spoil some money.. spoil money on anything which I dont need to.. eat out even when not well.. shop even when i need nothing.. go for drive even when fuel costs a fortune.. watch movie even when its a flop! we always find ways to not to save money, dont we?

New year - New hopes - New desires - New approach

2009-01-23T04:23:00.000-08:00

Finally a very very tough and long year has ended. 2008 has been quite an experience for me which includes start up of my company, lots of harsh words with my previous business partner, break up with my girl friend, couple of exciting road trips, many business trips, Personal loan (for business), some tight deals, and lots and lots of thinking...

2009 has given me some happiness already. Sam(my programmer) brought wonderful cake on 1st January as we were working that day. I got confirmation for two good deals within first two weeks of the month. New staff for my company on 16th jan...Celebrated my company's first anniversary on 18th jan.. Organized 25th marriage anniversary for my parents on 20th jan. got a confirmed deal (third :) ) today...bought a new computer today... holidays for two consecutive days this weekend... and projects going on at a decent speed.

After so much sorrow and pain last year, I feel as if I am in a bliss now.. I am not sure if this happiness is going to stay for long but I just hope that the best will last forever and ever...... I had a meeting today with an existing client and I reached on time as well. He asked me to wait for some time as he was busy with some un-invited buyers. His buyer was a angry lady shouting most of the times i could hear her for delaying the shipment for some reasons. That angry lady shouted for so long that my client didn't get time for me and he had a flight to catch then.. Disappointed me asked him "if I will drop you to the airport and we can discuss things on the way ?".

I wasn't sure about my client's response but he simply gave me a smile and didn't say anything and I assumed his answer was a "Thanks but no thanks". After a while he ordered some man on intercom to put his luggage into my car and his driver can go home - that amused me :).... I knew I had 20 minutes to talk before we reach airport and I started shooting right on the target...gave my quote verbally and explained him the benefits of working with me.. It was it and we reached the airport and while saying thanks to me for dropping him at airport, he also confirmed that he is going to give this order to me....... I feel soooooooooo good now...before asking him at his office that if I can drop him- I thought I should say "please continue with your work Sir, I will come some other time".

That little chance has made my day soo much better and I am happily writing this post. I took a chance two years back to start my company in partnership and was equally happy with what I was doing.. Nevertheless, I was doing good and I still stand by that decision.

Within last two years of my working career, I have learned to make immediate and strong decisions. Actually, I think I was forced to learn this.. Clients asking for price proposals within two minutes, final negotiations, deadlines, giving/not giving salary hikes, and so on. I can feel that decisions now are much matured than decisions earlier. For instance, taking ASUS MOTHER BOARD OVER INTEL ORIGINAL, going for a DVD writer or using old CD writer, going for Nvidia graphics card enable motherboard or the ordinary one.. Every small decision has a price disadvantage but feature and speed advantage. Speed will increase productivity but price will make things even tough.....

I do follow some old traditions like not buying expensive things on Saturday so I have asked my vendor to give delivery today itself. its 7.37pm already and he is about to reach..I saved 300 bucks as I will do the windows and software installation myself and I think I will do it tonight only.

Its Friday today and I have three movies due now - Ghajini, Slumdog millionaire, and Raaz 2. I think I can go for two of them this long weekend and it will be a tough decision again to choose two movies out of three. its 7.40 pm now and Sam is very eager to go home and I think I shall ask him to leave or else he will curse me till the time he reaches home for making him late. Also, I shall stop writing now and arrange CD's for windows(pirated), office(pirated), and antivirus (original ha ha!). I only wanted to showoff that finally I am moving towards buying original softwares which comes within my budget. Also, I dont watch bollywood movies on pirated DVD's anymore - I have no choice but to see Hollywood movies on pirated dvd's as they are on screen for limited time only.

I hope to write again with even better news and even happily :).... c u till then..

2008-11-07T12:07:00.000-08:00

If I have to award busiest(queeeeeeekest) 30 days in last 2 yrs or so, I will award it to last 30 days. ammm, I think I should consider last 40 days for it - they were more or less same. Planning and preparing for road trip to mussoorie + dhanaulti on 2nd october and the weekend was a lot more exciting than the actual drive. Leaving at 1 am and crossing the worst criminal belt in northern India - Meerut - muzzaffarnagar - saharanpur - was not so appealing to my parents and Tauji. They said everything which, in usual days, could have easily changed my mind to alter trip timings but I think excitement and happiness was so much over my head that I ignored them completely. And I did right ;) .

I had plan to leave at 1am so by the time I reach mountaints (Dehradun) I can see them grooming from pitch dark to bright blue, orange and then green. Well lucky us, we saw those beautiful mountains in all possible shades and I had not put breaks on 99% of potholes to reach on time. Before reaching Dhanaulti, we were driving 1000 feets above mussoorie (2250 mtrs approx above sea level) and we took a lonely - very lonely and forgotten kind of road. It was still a comfortable drive untill Rohit(baluja) wanted to try his hands and our luck with the car.

Imagine the next few seconds for us in car - he didn't start the car and took off the gear to neutral- controlling the stearing smoothly, he intended to park the car at a corner above a tiff.... looking cool, he suddenly shouted - Breaks nai lag rahi (breaks are not working) - and we were almost dead. If not physically, I personaly felt my heart was in my neck already and could jump out of the car before our car jump from the tiff.. Out of fear, my hands automatically pulled up the hand breaks and I couldn't believe him - smart ass was trying to apply power breaks without starting the engine. He then drove almost 20 kms after this incidence, forget about the mountains and beauty - I didn't remove my hands from hand-break for a millisecond then :)

4 days in Dhanaulti and Mussoorie were full of fun and booze --> more fun ;) lots of shooting competitions within ourselves (air riffle on baloons and cans) ---> a lot more fun. Maggie, awful Pakoras, super oily Paranthas and Tea at road side Dhabas ---> not bad! Teasing Dharminder for his marriage scheduled in february, Topa and Ashesh for the Road Side Journey they missed while coming by train, Rohit for his senseless driving, and all of us playing Tennis in PS2 all nights - I can live without sleeping for years like this...

Soon after the party was over and we were back to Delhi by Monday morning - I said to party without sleeping for years, not work! 1) it was a Monday 2) I wanted to sleep 3) it was a Monday 4) I wanted to c photographs 5) it was a Monday 6) I had lots of pending work 7) it was monday...........................it was still a Monday!

With lots of work, I had a confirm deal - crucial one for my company's existence. Working with Sam on new project during day and updating client at nights - I hardly slept during the weeek. Ashesh, KV, Topa and I met for Topa's birthday treat and I couldn't sleep on that Sunday either. 5 movies, lots of dinners, Ankita's birthday, Diwali season, Deepti's treat, My birthday, Proffessors from Scotland, Rohit's birthday(movie last night) and Dinner and drinks with Sunny, Rohit(Arora) tonight - I am extreeemely busy u c ! next time before noticing my over wieghted body, you must read this blog again !

I was looking for a good book on Indian History from last one year...Didn't really like anything - they were all very big and expensive. Finally, I have a copy now and it is by Percibal Spear (knowing Indian history from a foreginer is not so exciting but I am hoping for the best). Its Saturday night + I am back from another dinner session + I dont have any movies for tonight + no one is available to chat + I dont want this night to end..So, I shall start the book now or else it will take me one more year to do so.......

city of dreams.

2008-08-11T13:38:00.000-07:00

Residing in Delhi for all my life, i thought i m one of the brave ones... but, this city is fullllll of people with big and bigger dreams..not just dreams, but people who are actually following dreams.. in worst cases, they even know they wont get them in any case... this city is known as Mumbai...

It is my second trip to Mumbai and first time i m trying to understand it rather than watching.. this city is full of brave people - i must say....i have seen dreamers everywhere, for the first time i am seeing so many fighters at one place.. fighters who understand the needs of others too.. fighters who are not to kill and neither for survival but to fight, fight and fight.. I am staying at my cousins place who shares his appartment with two more guys. My cousin is a dreamer but not a fighter. other two are dreamers as well as fighters... one of them is 29 yrs old and wanna b actor.. he is very very handsome but lack communication skills...girls are after him but this idiot is searching for love... the other guy is 22 yrs old and do not hesitate to say he has homosexual vibes.. and also he wants to become a Director....his father is a big man has a pharma company in Lukhnow.. As per his estimates, he will b a director only when he is 40 yrs old.. and he is more than happy to fight for 18 yrs.... 18 yrs.....18 yrs, can u believe that? I dont even want to think of struggling for another 18 months. His father may be rich but has made it very clear to not to sponsor him after his studies(few more months).. this man has seen almost every movie existing on earth and published in Hindi or English. u ask him about starcast or crew for any particular movie and he wont take more than a second.. Hollywood/Bollywood Dictionary !

I met an Auto driver who do not wants to marry but to buy few more autos and starts a transport company....marrying is not in his wishlist at all.... a famous Vada Pao(local dish) walla who is very famous but do not wants to charge any premium on his food... he loves to cater to college students at reasonable prices because he made a choice to have food than going to college.
I didn't do any research for all this, just kept my eyes open.

Not just fighters, this city is full of cheaters as well. especially if u r a tourist. Two of my friends were going back to Delhi today and one of them was carrying his laptop and a CD pack with some porn CD's quite obviously. At railway station while checking for weapons one of police guy searched into the CD case and abused my friends of trying and selling pirated CD's in Delhi. Ha Ha Ha ! and all these doubts were gone asap my friends bribe them with 2000 bucks. Can u believe that? i never heard such story in Delhi...neither my cousin and his friends have heard anything similar in Mumbai...so my over smart friends have been fooled in short....!

Not just this, people are very straight with their words and approach.. if u r not habitual to listen truth about your egg shaped body or not so charming hair cut, dont ask if its looking good.. I am the victim of a not so pleasant reply. that too from a sales person.. I wonder if his shop makes good business or atleast if he ever matched his sales target... whatever, he prefered to say truth and saved my money...

It seem a very interesting city, but m not sure if i can survive here (happily). One has to be rich or need to have many balls to pay 30,000 rupees rent for a simple two bedroom flat in not so good location..pay around 3000 rupees a month for parking of every extra car u or ur flat mates drive. if you go without a girl in pubs or good restaurants -dont feel sorry if u find waiters staring at you with weird eyes. always keep a lighter even if u dont smoke unless u want to miss a chance for small chat with girls asking for lighters..

I guess i should take some help and make a 'Do's and Dont's" chart for first timers in mumbai - I may make some good money ;) - lucky u !

let them say and keep trying....

2008-06-12T05:33:00.000-07:00

They said don’t try to fly. They said it again and again.…….

When I am alone, I get over confident. And when I get over confident – u guessed it right – I mess up badly. And that’s what happening with me from quite some time now. When I left my partnership in Vista – it was purely my decision. When asked about my next plans, I said some thing like – “there are thousands of opportunities around. I just need to grab some. I also have plans to start an eCommerce company. I ll b developing an Automated Sales Management System and will target foreign clients and exporters.” Sounds impressive? Well, it took only few seconds to say this damn statement and extremely long 6 months to develop that in realty (beta version yet). And no good signs on marketing yet...I have encountered three type of people while reaching this first stage...Those who do not care what I achieve or loose...Those who have helped or motivated me to reach this first stage...and those who offered me help and made me dependent on them and finally, DISAPPEARED.....

They said don’t try to fly. They said it again and again…They laugh at me now….

I am a very spiritual person… Mind you, spiritual but not religious… I am a strict follower of god but also an Alcohol lover… I don’t really care about Laws – I am not 25 but I drink which my government doesn’t allow and my parents don’t expect! Usually I don’t mind others doing the same….”Usually” because they seem grown up and mature.. I have seen guys of around 12 yrs old….no… wait…. I have seen children of around 12 yrs old drinking in public.. teasing girls as much as double of their age(atleast). And messing around all over… I have problem with this! But I cant stop them.. after all they are breaking law as much as I am, except I don’t do eve teasing.

Lets forget about law and talk about ethics now? Is it ethically right for the shop keeper to sell that alcohol to those kids? Big NOO! And is it ethically right for the same shopkeeper to sell that alcohol to me? I am speechless. Thoughtless…

This wine shop along with one more wine shop is located between a11-12 commercial buildings. My office is inside one of these 12 buildings giving me enough opportunities to observe the attachment of people (99.99%) towards these two shops even if they don’t drink. But some thing is so special about these shops that even out of 5000 people, may b more, working in this area don’t make complaints or oppose these shops to be located within the radius of 10 meters from a small temple… Not sure if its true but I heard that there cant be any wine shop within 100 meters of a temple or some thing…. Interestingly, the biggest donation in the temple comes from these two shops. J . obvious reasons….

May I have observed these shops earlier, I could have thought of doing a different business with recurring income.. Guess what? Recycling of beer and other alcohol bottles… it’s a big business here with at least 60 children (not even aged 12) engaged in this profession already… if u want to learn marketing or PR skills, I bet u – they can teach better than our college professors. How? Check out –

As soon as u made ur purchase and comes out of shop, few little guys or in worst case little girls will be offering you bottle openers. You get choice to choose the best opener because of competition and soon they will break the seal for you followed by a quick dry cleaning of your bottle (you may loose the grip of bottle if its too wet). The clothes they use to clean your bottle is 10000 times cleaner than their own clothes. Not just this, these kids will keep all beggars away from you until you are drinking – giving you peaceful drinking environment! Oh, r u feeling to smoke but forget to buy cigarettes or matchbox? Don’t panic, these kids provide full fledged service until u r enjoying ur drink. Are you with your girl friend and looking for some privacy? Just ask for help and they can take u to the hell of places(heaven for couples) where they will guard your privacy for few more extra bucks..Or if u r too shy to ask about this, they ll let u know about it… Sounds astounding? Well, all these services come in exchange of your empty bottle! Not a bad deal eh?

It is not that I liked how these kids are making money. But I m happy at least they r not begging with dirty and already used band aids all around or almost naked to earn their living. They have become business minded.. They are service oriented… I usually give few one rupee candies to few kids in exchange of no service but a smile… But I will never give them money – not even a rupee… or else, they ll stay beggars throughout their life…

They said don’t try to fly. They said it again and again…They laughed at me….They should see these kids and learn that there are actually thousands of opportunities around, just need to grab the right one…have patience and c the world changing. or if u don’t have patience, stop laughing at least because how much distance u may have covered, journey to road side never ends....!

a toast to myself.......

2008-05-18T03:45:00.000-07:00

Pic by K.V.

(2nd December, 2003)

So far so good.. But the question is how far is it gonna remain good? Oh no, I m definitely not talking about the earthquake in China or blasts in Jaipur.. I am talking, as usual, about my blog. Why? Because the second question arises is how much I should share and with whom. Shall I start different blogs to share with different crowd of people? I guess not. Whats the use of writing at all then? Whats the use of writing it anyway?

We say, behave and express in a different way with dissimilar people. Or at least, I am different for different people and so is my personality(if it exists at all :-) ). Some feels I am not bothered about my life and some feels I m over thinking about it. I wont blame anyone for it, its all about how I behave and react with them. So, here, I am trying to write and express same bunch of feelings to all. I have over come of my confusion to start or to not to start a new blog so that, intentionally or unintentionally, I dont hurt any one. But then that is not what I want or may be that is what I want at some point – to express what I feel before its too late or as Topa has commented - Coz you just never get to know when the final bell rings.. There are things I wont be able to express to the ones responsible for brining me in this world – my parents – I love them and I know they know it. But this is some thing I don’t want to say but prove!

Coming back to friends, have you ever noticed how different we are with our girl friends let alone friends? There’s a small variation between different category of friends but difference of a complete world when it comes to a girl/boy friend? You don’t write poems if a friend ditch/leaves u..no one does…. But, I bet, any one can become a poet when it is about opposite sex. ( I never read a poem written by homosexuals :D). And as the matter of fact I m no exception. Years ago, I tried and got some sort of weird success with writing. This is when Sheena got married and I could do nothing but laugh in front of others over the situation and cry whenever I found myself alone. And that is where this urge of writing started within me. People around thought that I m cool and looking for another girl. But it was a different game for me. I wont say that I was too low and decided to crap my life or anything. But I missed here more than I miss my school days. I still miss her more than I miss my college days. She is the one to build a lil confident in me. She told me that ‘I am an angel’ which might not be true. At least I know I am not a devil for sure :-*. Life has to move on and it did for me, indeed. Okay, I m still in touch with her but that’s the least we planned together- JUST to stay in touch for all our life! Some of you may have problem with this. But then, its my life and I have rights to live it in my own way. The way I feel is right, even it may or may not be socially acceptable. Socially acceptable? Huh. Do we really care about it other than not roaming around naked? I am not sure. We do everything which is not even acceptable to our parents, lets not talk about others.

Rohit, I agree - "Crazy" does not conveys the magnitude of things i did on May 10, 2008. The word is just too small.” Yes, that one word does not and could not convey the magnitude of things u did. But then, there’s no such word exists? Further – “Life has taught me many lessons in the last few days, and trust me, the cost of learning these lessons is far beyond the affordability of ANYONE. On this day, i got a new meaning of "living life to the fullest". Coz you just never get to know when the final bell rings.” Nothing can heal the pain u have had but good you realized the ultimate truth of life quite early. I respect our tradition of not celebrating anything for long in remembrance of the lost one, the loved one. However, I respect Christian’s tradition more of raising a toast in remembrance of the lost one, the loved one – after all they have completed their tough and painful journey of life, journey to the road side. Also, your loved one never wanted you to be sad.

Similarly, after Sheena’s marriage, I wrote(I tried) few lines as a toast to me (I always believed she was a part of me). Take it lightly -

I may be no one for you,
But everything for me is just you.

I do not behave good some time,
But you are the best and all mine.

I love the way you smile each time,
It gives me pleasure for a life time.

I can never forget some of your face,
Which looks like an infant babe .

I respect all your thoughts and feeling,
Which gives courage for better living.

I want to stay always in your arms,
Which will keep me away from all harms.

Sheena,
My character may not be that true,
But it’s the truth that I have loved you.

In my sms,
I wanted to write a lot more,
But space was not enough for me to explore.

I just wish that I can compensate for my mistake,
But I know, god won’t allow me for a second take.

I want to smooch you till the day I die,
And want you to do everything without being shy.

Please,
Love me till the day I am alive,
And never ever go away from my life.

I hope my wish
Sometime will come true,
And I would be able to prove
That what all I can do for you....!

No comments please. This was first time I tried writing some thing of my own. Even all assignments in college were copied…. There are just two people in this world I would not want to read my blog – my first and last girl friend. funny eh? But I know they ll get to read it some day.. So I want to say that - M not sorry for anything..Not for u – not for myself……………

comments? send it to - road.journey@gmail.com

Tomrrow may come, but do not wait for it.....

2008-05-11T06:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a crazy day....completely....Topa(Rohit) will agree with me....

I did one of the craziest things yesterday.... didn't wanted to throw away 1/3rd bottle of Johnie Walker(Black Label) before my parents come back, I started with it in the very morning and didn't realized my speed unless it was finish, within half an hour....25 minutes to be precise....dont blame it on me, blame the restless scotch! What happened after that is a mystery....

But its not the case with Topa....I made my day crazy, intentionally....He did all the craziest things against his will and intentions....His uncle, very very close to him, expired yesterday.... I think his uncle was one of his idol.... My thank is due to his uncle and i wish to express it, now. b'cos of him we once had our dinner at ITC Shereton, Agra after adoring TAJ MAHAL in moon light....We could not have ever done this, otherwise....Me and Topa succesfully organized our farewell party at D'Minor, next to Hyatt...It was all arranged by his uncle.. Thanks for everything, sir !

Topa quoted these words in a mail few days ago - "U never know what life has in store for u ……… suddenly ……something as strange as this … can happen between … ashesh’s bday party on one day and my offsite on the other !!!! ". So True! Ashesh, Topa and me were craving to party on saturday night(yesterday) at my home....and suddenly as strange as this had happen between friday and saturday night...

I remember my first trip to Goa...we were all college friends except (Jaanu(Rohit Baluja) and Deepak)... Deepak being the most notorious guy and Jaanu being the most innocent of all...Jaanu is my childhood friend.... I had never seen him so excited and happy, ever, before for the trip.... Moments before our train started moving, we got to know our other choldhood friend, Anshul, had met an accident and died on the spot.... Nothing was in our hand and I couldn't do anything than taking care of Jaanu....Anshul and Jaanu were best friends.....after two days Jaanu had forgot about Anshul's accident for some time and was looking very very happy again - totaly absorbed in the Goa's mid night dinner mood....But life had some thing else in store for him and we got to know his father has expired of a heart attack....His father used to hate me most of times as Jaanu will not study but roam around with me all the time.... I always wanted to tell his father that I love his son, may be, more than he does....I think he knows this now if he can see us from stars....

Guys, believe it or not, within yesterday and today I have been shocked many a times. While I started writing this blog today evening, I was chatting with an Indian lady living in US....She's having a daughter..We used to chat long ago but then she suddenly and simply ignored me for no reasons..I got to chat with her today and this is what she said - "you knbow what....some days in life are good n some days are busy...then i dont chat wityhy any1.I have been fighting breast cancer since jan...easy nahin hota chat karna yaar...not that i ignore any1.so....if i dont reply...dont think that i am cold....just that i'm not able to."I didn't know what to reply back other than saying SORRY..

I didn't feel like writing anything more after chatting with her so I decided to go out for dinner (party everynight untill parents are back :-) ). Just after I had finish half of my super high calorie meal I recieved a phone call. I got a lil excited as there was some girl on the line calling me by name. But all excitement vanished soon for two reasons - 1) It was a job aspirant in my small company who was supposed to come tommorrow morning for interview. 2) She wont be able to come tommorrow as her grand father has expired today...... Like most of guys from same age group, I dont know how to handle these situations...What to say and what not too...I think saying nothing is much safer than experimenting with words in these situations.....

I have always been a coward of apologizing for my mistakes untill I went to Scotland..And, untill I met Roshni(my super X girl friend).. I shall not discuss about her other than mentioning that she taught me the importance of saying sorry....Also, that its better late than never.. For instance, I can proudly say that I wrote a big email to Poki(Paroksh) for my sarcastic behaviour throughout college days...It was not necessary as I was not the only one to bully him and he didn't have any copmlaints either. But I think he knows me better after reading my email.

Guys, life is too short to hate anyone and today is big enough to express yourself..B'cos yesterday is a long time ago; tomorrow is just a dream....So, if I may put it in my words, - "tomorrow may come, but do not wait for it !".

Like to share? leave a comment or write back to- road.journey@gmail.com.

B'cos, enough isn't enough.......

2008-05-05T11:17:00.000-07:00

Okay! I might be forcing some of you to read this blog as earlier, but then you guys r part of my ultimate responsibility. You are my friends and family... It may sound weird just now but I am certain you would read it without any requests one day :-)
Few of you have appreciated my thought without telling what do you actually liked about it. But for those of you who didn't liked it or have had some or other reason to disagree, thanks for your feedback. Only feedbacks can make this blog continue and worthwhile for me and for you, if it does at all.

Aapt feels that reading this blog could make you look negatively towards your life. I never intend to do so. All I want from this blog is a healthy conversation which we usually ignore while partying or in get togethers'. We bravely discuss about flirting with girls, fighting with parent and colleagues, cheating in exams, faking documents and work experiences, and a whole lot of shit. Why not about life and relationships other than natural ones? I believe we share a relationship, good or bad, with every single person we have ever known. May it be the cab driver, cashier in food court, office clerk, neighbour(may be his daughter :-)) or any one else including that charity agent you would have hated most. For me, there is no 'neutral' kind of relation. Its either good or bad. If its not bad and I can approach some one when needed -its a good relation and vice versa. And as I wrote in previous blog, meaning of life is different for all - the most positive aspect could be negative for you. ALL ABOUT PERCEIVING....

Ashish says this blog is nothing but an unneseccary GYAN. Yes, only if you take it as some. Or else, its a discussion forum. Let the GYAN spread OR............ Lets discuss !

Ashesh has quite some thing to say or rather, to discuss... There is some thing tickling his mind throughout - "is it that you are getting a little dicy abt life.....world being this way...like being so self centred........or like may be not thinking abt anything..when i say anything i mean anyone around you...any1 who you think feels your importance.....but then you yoursef (i will call you the "writer") say that he has his friends around him and he is like ok about it and want to do something apart from them.....why does the writer doesent realise that he....his sis....his GF...his friends...his family.....are also some where connected to the world....ppl...or something which he wants to do...or may be like want to have that pleasure of livingmay be that doing somethng differently for them can also give him that pleasure which he is looking for". Ashesh, its not the world being this way. Its WE, usually, being this way - self centred. And I am trying to explore that very fact. If you read my blog once again, I never tried to ignore people around me - my friends and family. Instead, I have called them my "ULTIMATE RESPONSIBILITY". Okay, I agree that we may put more and more, may be all, efforts towards our ultimate responsibility. But as we say "enough is never enough", so we shall not forget our other responsibilities as well. for eg -
A father's ultimate responsibility is to take good care of his child. For it, he may work more and more to earn money which will never be enough. He shall also spend enough time with his child for studies, sports, and entertainment. In other words, he is suppose to give 100% of his time for his child (if not with him). But, let me tell you, he also have some responsibilities for his wife/ parents/ relatives/ friends and all. So? is enough really enough ? No, its not and it will never be.

Look at the flower I have fixed as a header. Flower has blossomed every single petal and not some. A few of them are going to stay and some wont be there for long..Similarly, I am not, straight away, going to do charity towards my social responsibilities but to well behave with everyone. Even when I blow my horn next time (Aapt? Ashesh?). And that will also give me some pleasure while doing Road Side Journey.........

ACTIONS LEAD HABITS... HABITS LEAD OUR LIFE

To discuss your views, please write for road.journey@gmail.com

Pleasure of Living !

2008-05-02T02:06:00.000-07:00

Ever since I understood importance of my existence, I have analyzed that my existence do not really have any importance. Importance for people around me, importance for the community, importance for the nation, importance for the country, importance for anything at all.

The only people I am important to are my parent, sister, girl friend and a few other friends. Seriously speaking, this importance has nothing to do with me. rather, it has more to do with blood, relation and the time spent together. So, is this why I am existing? Is this why I am living for? well, I am not sure...... I am not sure of what I want to do for others, even I dont know what I want to do for my own self.... Graduation was important for living, so i graduated... Masters was important for good living, so I did Post Graduation.... Work is important for good living, so here I am, working!

Does that, by all means, mean that I am living just for the sake of living? Everything I do is for good living, everything I want to do is for good living and everything I may do in future will be for the sake of good living.... Wait, could you pelase explaing what is the meaning of good living...? mind you, I am not talking about the absolute definition but the true meaning... This could be a subjective question.. as every individual is different, meaning for living is different for all , quite obvious. Our parent takes care of us since we born till we or they die....And we do exactly same for our children, and they ll do the same for their....... Again, I may ask you, is this the reason we were born and shall die for? Just for us, for us alone? We utilize so much from the nature thorughout our life without ginving any returns back to it....Instead, we create so much of mess to people and nature around us, thats the proof we give for our existence...I dont wanna die with this pain in my brain of doing nothing throughout my life... I want, or i shall say I wish to do some good, some help, some support for others.. OTHERS, other than my family and friends...I agree that chairty begins at home and I shall start helping my family and friends first. But that is my ultimate responsibility and I should not mention that, ever, again..I will discuss things which I think will give me pleasure..Please dont take me wrong, I do not intend to say 'sex' by using word 'pleasure'..Instead, pleasure of self satisfaction; pleasure of happiness; PLEASURE OF LIVING..!

Folks, I am starting this blog, my first ever, because I want to explore the ways to get Pleasure OF Living in the journey we all do on regular basis within the much bigger journey called LIFE...while going for work, studies, dates, vaccations, shopping etc...And that, my friends, is

"The Journey to Roadside......................................."

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